Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I AM VODKA MAN
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
