I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
