Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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