Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
