And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
