I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
