Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize