You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
