I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Boobs are out for the taking
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
