i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
