I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
