They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize