kristin has been a bad kristin
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
