Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
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