i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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