They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
