I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
