I showed him my bush... on skype.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
