do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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