return my video game
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
