Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
