I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
