Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize