I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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