I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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