It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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