Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
