Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
did i walk over a car last night?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
