Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
This show inspires me to have sex in space
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
