i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
