I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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