New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
