I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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