Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
ttyl tear gas
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize