out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
