wat bout pragnant strippers??
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
