once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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