FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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