when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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