Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
A+ Viking dick
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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