They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
