the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
