I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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