i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
