Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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