all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
