I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
