i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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