woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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