guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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