Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
