Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
