Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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