Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
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