I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize