I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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