we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
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