You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My hand turned me down
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You're a waste of cheezeits
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
