The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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