When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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