you turned your livingroom into a bong?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
