Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
