I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
