This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I've blown a few things in my day
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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