All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
