Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
