i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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