there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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