What did we do last night that was yellow?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
