The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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