marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
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