Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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