She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
