im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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