i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize