i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize