Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
