dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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